The Golden Cage: Why Success Can Become Your Prison (And How to Break Free)
Most people dream of the day when they'll be 'successful enough' to do whatever they want. Then that day comes and they realize they're more trapped than ever.
Everything achieved on the vision board, but more creatively paralyzed than when they were broke and unknown.
There's a hidden trap built into how we pursue achievement that flips your biggest wins into your biggest prison.
Almost three years into building around 1M followers across platforms taught me a harsh lesson no one talks about: achievement addiction is real. The dopamine hits from validation, the fear of disappointing your audience, the endless one-upmanship game where there's always someone with better numbers.
This isn't freedom. It's a different kind of cage, and it's lined with gold.
But here's what 99% of successful people get wrong: They think the solution is achieving more success. More followers, more subscribers, more revenue, more recognition.
An infinite loop most never break.
The real solution? Learning to honor all your intelligences, not just the profitable ones.
The Algorithm of Success (And Why It's Broken)
Success is as subjective as anything else, yet we chase it like there's a universal formula. We're told there's a specific combination of skills mastery, personal branding, and platform optimization that will get us "there" - wherever "there" is supposed to be.
The truth? There's no set recipe, but enough discipline and the right conditions can get you where you dream to be.
But what happens when you achieve the vision, and it becomes a cage?
Social media is a wild world, a distorted representation of our society where fighting the good fight or trying to be "that person" quickly teaches you the "good" might not be good for you.
The line is never flat, and that organically comes with mental challenges most don't expect: validation hits, dopamine rushes, anger bursts, labels and perceptions that mess with your head.
And here's where the one-upmanship trap begins.
The One-Upmanship Prison: When Competition Becomes Your Cage
Success brings a paradox: the more you climb, the more you wonder "Is this it?"
Social media turns life into constant competition.
You read and hear it everywhere - people copying your content, outperforming, underperforming. What does any of it even mean?
Look around - people completely absorbed by endless scroll reflecting in their eyes. Do you want to be part of this game?
And if you choose to not participate because you think you're better, that's just another form of one-upmanship.
The one-upmanship never ends. So where’s the balance?
There's always someone with more followers, better engagement, shinier content. And even more platforms reward the performance, not the person.
You start creating for algorithms instead of your soul, suppressing everything that gives you breathing space, that drives passion forward.
Constraining yourself into that niche, into that target, into that audience.
The twisted part: competition becomes part of success and the moment you hint at multiple intelligences, transferable skills, and multidisciplinary thinking, people call you flaky.
They expect something that represents their perception of you.
That perception becomes the prison that limits existence - not success itself.
The realization hits:
Maybe there's no way to exist in this space without falling into one-upmanship.
And these are the golden handcuffs.
The Multiple Intelligence Revolution: Why One Thing Is Never Enough
The most dangerous prison is the one you don't realize you're in.
The identity trap is following someone else's script: the title, the story, the content that works for everybody else but doesn't sit right with you.
Every fear tries to sneak in - fear of judgment, fear of regret, fear of destroying what you've built.
But humans are not meant to be one thing.
Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences is much more than academic theory - it's liberation. You have linguistic intelligence (your words), spatial intelligence (your visual sense), bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (your hands), musical intelligence (your rhythm), and more.
There are layers and layers in each of us to explore.
Moving countries repeatedly showed me something profound: there's unmatched power in being a beginner. The level of ingenuity and curiosity that keeps your inner child alive.
Being the foreigner, the one with the accent, the one who has to prove themselves teaches a crucial lesson:
What if freedom comes from having nothing to prove?
What if it's about writing your life story, being observed, being the observer, and the observing all at once?
That is the experience I crave.
This leads to what might be the real solution...
Manuality: The Soul Medicine Our Hands Remember
Matthew Crawford wrote in "Shop Class as Soulcraft" that manual work offers something our knowledge economy has forgotten: the satisfying experience of agency and competence that comes from engaging the physical world with your hands.
I explore this philosophy in finding presence through tactile creation in The Mindful Kitchen Map, my book.
There's profound wisdom in this approach. Simple things ground us - for me, it's the sea, nature, walks, exploring unknown places, photography, crafts, cooking, DIY, art projects, surfing, gardening, reading, writing.
These create my eternal moment.
Manual work provides what Crawford calls "a more robust basis for human flourishing" than abstract knowledge work.
When you work with your hands, you encounter resistance. The dough won't rise properly. The film camera jams mid-roll. The wood splits against the grain. This resistance teaches you something screens never can: the world pushes back, and that pushback contains crucial information.
Digital work offers infinite undo buttons. Manual work demands presence and acceptance of imperfection. Discovering film photography now at thirty-two was a revelation: you can't delete and reshoot endlessly. Every frame matters. The constraint forces intention. You're present with the moment, not editing it into perfection later.
Crawford argues that manual work cultivates what he calls "attentional ethics" - the practice of paying careful attention to the world as it actually is, rather than as we wish it to be. Cooking without recipes teaches this perfectly. You taste with intuition, adjust by feel, learn through trial and what others might call error.
In an age of infinite digital possibility, hands become the anchor to authenticity.
Manual work can't be offshored to AI or automated away. It requires your full presence, can't be rushed or optimized, and connects you to the physical world in an increasingly virtual existence.
Moving through different countries opened my eyes to this pattern: here in the Land of Smiles, the rhythm isn't fast, but it's deeply intentional. People move, people do, people create with their whole being engaged. When you build something physical, your body remembers what your mind forgot.
This visual attracts me endlessly - the embodiment of what this newsletter represents.
Film photography is making me remember patience in an instant world.
Each shot is precious. Each moment unrepeatable. No endless takes, no safety nets. Just you, light, and chemistry working together to capture truth.
This is the medicine I needed: work that demands your complete attention, that teaches through resistance, that grounds abstract knowledge in physical reality.
I can complement it with writing, create a zine, a book, or simply contemplate.
Your Personal Sovereignty: The Only Vote That Counts
Your life is not a democracy, so stop letting others vote on your dreams.
Personal sovereignty is all we have. It reflects in creative work, the stories that scream to be told, the problems worth solving. Multiple intelligences drive change and every day you don't change is a day you choose your current story.
If that's what you choose, great! But if you feel the cage closing in, if you sense your many intelligences being squeezed into one narrow channel, it's time to break free.
The solution isn't to abandon what you've built - it's to expand beyond it.
We need multiple mediums to create. That's the essence of being human. We're not meant to be one-dimensional, no matter how much platforms reward consistency.
The Framework: Breaking Free From Golden Handcuffs
If this resonates, if you feel somehow caged, confused, or cuffed by your own success, here's an honest framework:
1. Acknowledge the cage
Name what's keeping you trapped. Write it down.
Is it the fear of disappointing your audience?
The addiction to validation metrics?
The one-upmanship game you can't seem to quit?
The reduction of your multiple intelligences to one profitable skill?
2. Start small experiments
New mediums, side projects, creative play. Awaken your ingenuity and don't fear sucking at first. You will suck - that's the point.
Examples of small experiments:
Linguistic intelligence: Start a private journal or write poetry, notes, thoughts, anything
Spatial intelligence: Try sketching, photography, or rearranging your space
Kinesthetic intelligence: Learn to cook a new cuisine, try pottery, or dance
Musical intelligence: Hum while you work, learn an instrument, or create playlists intentionally
Your spatial intelligence might be dormant. Your kinesthetic intelligence might be rusty. Your musical intelligence might be shy. Wake them up gently.
3. Document the journey
Share your process, if you feel called to - not just outcomes. This doesn't mean "build in public" (that's overtyped). It means finding your tribe - the people who understand that growth is messy and beautiful and multidimensional.
4. Trust the unfolding
Change is inevitable; you can guide it or resist it. Learn to feel those emotions - they're yours, only yours. The fear, the excitement, the confusion, the clarity.
Let your hands lead sometimes. Let your multiple intelligences have conversations with each other.
Your Next Small Rebellion
This week, choose one:
One small creative experiment that uses a different intelligence than your "main" one
One conversation about your "real" interests beyond your known expertise
One piece of content that shows a different side of your multidimensional self
One manual/tactile activity that brings you joy and grounds you in your body
Just evolve. Your future self will be forever grateful.
And let me know what's the small experiment you could try this week that feels scary but exciting? Something that engages a different part of your intelligence? Something that requires your hands, not just your mind?
I mean it - I read the responses and I'd love to share the best ones (with permission) in future newsletters.
P.S. This newsletter itself is an experiment in expanding beyond food content. Thank you for being part of this journey as we learn to honor all our intelligences, not just the profitable ones. Your support means everything as we write our own stories again.